Why do women want to marry?

Last week I saw this wonderful movie: “He is just not into you”. There are 2 characters Neil Jones (Ben Affleck) and Beth Bartlett (Jennifer Aniston) who have been living in together since 7 years. Beth wants to get married while Neil does not believe in the institution called marriage where you have to actually spend huge money just to announce to the world of your love and commitment to each other. His explanation is that two best friends does not need a formal event like marriage to show that they care, love and are committed to each other then why does they need marriage when he is totally committed, responsible and in love with Beth. Doesn’t that make sense? Before you guys pounce on me let me tell you I do believe in the institution called marriage. It is just that after watching the movie a thought struck to me. Why do women want to marry? Imagine this: A young couple walks into a Café on a Saturday evening. As she sits opposite her date, sipping on a crème frappe, she runs her hand through her hair, moony-eyed she is already visualizing her family album. She of course has decided that he is the one — which is why she even bothered to go out with him. She knows that she will make a great wife and mother. She will also never fight with her mother-in-law, sister-in-law and, yes, she would make the best granddaughter-in-law ever. She also knows that with time and her loving attentions, she will make a better person of the guy, who is right now busy checking out the babe seated on the opposite table in minis. Girl: Stop checking out that girl in minis. Boy: Girl??? Who??? Where??? No, I was not looking at anyone… you are mistaken. Girl: hmm… so tell me what was I saying? Boy, who is caught totally off guard, thinks hard but his brain is still stuck at those smooth unending legs on the opposite table. So, to save himself from all the tsunami he is about to face, he handles the situation very cautiously. Boy: I Love You jaan. Girl: Really? cho chweet. Did you talk to your parents about us? This is probably the most common thing that happens in a relationship after a year or so. Ever wonder what drives a smart, young and liberated city girl to enter into a hand-me-down institution like marriage. The pressure to get hitched has always been there. An Indian woman views dating solely as a marriage platform. Even the first world sees an unattached woman as odd. The single urban girl leaves home for college or her workplace with a garland in her head. The modern variation of a swayamvar. Colleges and offices are marriage bureaus. The drive to become financially independent has a lot to do with finding the right guy too. A woman of course has always been categorically told that her in-law’s place is her real home. So while a city girl behaves and looks like her sisters in Manhattan, she spends her 20s and early 30s pining for a knight, if not his rescue act. “You think of getting married at 25. Thirty is like going over the hill, a different decade.” So as she walks about with a composed air in branded trousers, talking business with her junior male colleague or errand boy on her cell phone, she instinctively checks out every decent-looking man for a trophy husband. One who will make a great support system for her and their subsequent brood. Even the most coveted females are not untouched by the prehistoric bug. “We are social animals and have been brought up with the concept of permanent families. For a woman, marriage is all about security. Even women who are doing very well professionally want a man who can ‘support’ them. That they do not need the support is a different story. Even at the end of this post I cant figure out “why do women want to marry?” If you are a women reading this please enlighten me.

Sketching Continues !!

Volvo Ki Sawari

After years of trying to build roads and flyovers, Namma Bengaluru government decided to change track to address the woes of city commutation and invest in new buses: Volvos for the general public. For daily travelers to office in Bengaluru, the Volvo bus is a familiar experience. With the traveling time ranging anywhere between 1 to 2 hrs for a stretch of mere 10 –15 kms the old city buses experience was awful. The city buses used to be crowded, with people hanging from all possible directions like makdee ke jaale in a haunted bhootiya haveli from Ramsay movie. You will be surrounded by all kinds of crowd starting from the bhaajiwalas with their bhaaji ki tokri to software professionals with their 10-kilo lappies. As the crowd increases you will end up smelling the co-passengers sweat covered armpits or the combination of cheap deodorants and some half hearted farts. You might also have to stand face to face with the chaiwalas who would have his mouth filled with gutkha, which you are scared that he might puke on your fav shirt any moment. If you are spared there, you will probably encounter some unwanted nose digged fingers and crotch scratching hands on your favorite Louis Philippe Shirt. With the sinking heart crossing all hurdles, smelling like a fisherman, when you reach your destination you are in no way presentable either to the client or your boss who happens to come to work in his new Camry with un-crumpled shirt smelling of Hugo Boss. *&%%$ Thanks to the government, which heard the software professional’s woes and launched the Volvos for commuting. Off late I’ve started taking the Volvo to work instead of the company vehicle, which shows up before the pados ka murga decides to get out of its cozy bed. The Air-conditioned Volvo is the good option to hop in and catch on an extra 1-hour sleep while the monster does a nagina number on the so-called roads, scaring the hell out of the poor pedestrians. As soon as I hopped into the bus, the TT babu popped up like a matrimonial ad of shaadi.com to make me halka by some rupees, before I could manage to make myself stand in that bheed bhaad. While I stood in a corner groggily, hunting for a prospective commuter who’d get down at the nearest stop, I was poked hard in my ribs by the fellow passenger who got off-balance by the roller coaster ride in the city roads. I thought of yelling “teri **** ki... But considering the language management, I controlled myself. Very soon the bus started getting flooded when, one-bhala manas decided to get down and I grabbed his seat like a hawk. I made myself comfortable in the seat and switched on my new I-pod. By now all my sleep was gone and I was wide-awake and following are the different categories of people I noticed for the rest of my journey. Sleeping Beauties: These are generally those uncles who would probably have Aruna Irani or Himani Shivpuri type wives at home who wouldn’t let them sleep all night. What are you smiling at you dirty mind I meant not letting them sleep by continuous nagging like our bollywood vamps. These bechare sataaye hue mard are so sleepy that stranded traffic, blaring horns or the human chaos in the bus doesn’t bother them. It seems like they have grabbed their seats as the bus rolled out of the manufacturing plant. Some of them would have their mouth wide open enough for a baby hippo to pass through without getting hurt. To add on you will probably see a Ganga flowing out of their khula muh making a small puddle for gully ke bachche to swim. College ka Chokras: This is generally a group of 5-6 boys in their early 20s with faded and /or torn jeans, champu shades and long unruly hairdos- in short Chunkey Pandey Chaap students. Every word they utter would be sandwiched by a swear word beep beep. Once the brats are done with getting their feet placed in the bheed, they are set to explore the bus for those "F-16 to F-22"s. They scan through the entire bus and the data is shared among them to come with some vital information as to where they need to oscillate to and fro for the entire journey. Yeah, I used to be one of them few years back. Padhakus: In contrast to the college brats you can also see some padhakus with 4 inch thick glasses engrossed in rattofying probably the last commas and full stops in the book. These are the kinds who look forward for exams all year and write endlessly from the moment the question paper is distributed and take extra sheets and sometimes-extra pens to puke in everything in their brains about the subject. At the end of the exams they would make the gloomiest face possible coz they would realize that they have not answered question 5 ka part C, which is worth 0.5 marks. $^&%#@ Gadget Gurus: These people board the bus wired either with a cell phone or an I-pod that they got from their recent onsite visit. These people have their ears plugged throughout the time. When the TT asks for the ticket they would shout at their highest pitch so that the passengers in next bus know where they are going to get off. They would hum the song that’s playing in their Indian Idol voice, which would probably fetch them some chawannis outside. The callers are no less. They would smile all for themselves and suddenly shout out loud with words like “Listen to me, No No thatz not what I am saying”. Paunchy Techies: This is the breed of men where I belong (and probably you also). These are the uptight men wearing full formals sucking their paunches in to evade the un-required attention on their potbellies from the giggly HR girls in front. Needless to say these are the fellow techies with assorted Id’s around their neck, brownish newspapers under their armpits, cheap and heavy laptops clinging on to their shoulders. You can see the manager’s fire in their bellies, demons of variable pay haunting them and the release dates approaching faster than the weekends or salaries. With the fast rising pink slips and slow moving traffics you can hear their frustrations loud and clear even in the chaos of the city bus. Furry Females: These are the category of so-called fur ball girls who board the bus with a look of behenji in their attitude. Their untrimmed mustaches and stubble beard reminds you of unshaven look of our Khiladi Kumar. The hair on their hands would be enough to make a fur coat for 2 grizzly bears. I wonder haven’t they heard the term called “waxing”? Their furry hands would even force Anil Kapoor to cover his sleeves in shame. Well it definitely makes me roll-down my sleeves. Observing from one passenger to other, how time flew I didnt realize. Finally my stop came and I got down. I realized that my shirt is not crumpled and the Dunhill is still smelling as fresh as I left few hours back. In short the Volvo is sawari is fulltoo paisa wasool. However, this khushi was ephemeral. Looking at the high-raised tinted glass building where I have to be for the next 8-9 hours or may be more, my heart sank. Being left out with no choice with heavy heart I walked into that building to suffer the pangs of my existence. By the way why dont you take a Volvo ride while I get back with my next post? It fun !! Trust me...

My Recent Sketches !!

Try Again

When you feel tierd and lost,

Not getting the way at any cost.

The path is hard and a bit rough,

And every step so very tough.

The end of it is not in sight,

And you have lost the urge to fight.

Life is worth living and fighting for,

Not to defeat and leaving for.

It easy to give up and accept defeat,

But the brave will willingly repeat.

Will and dedications are steps to the top,

Journey is hard, but you cannot stop.

Don't give up but try again and again,

A different life you may regain.

Sri Ram Sene

In 21st century when we Indians are celebrating our 60th Republic day, we get to hear the horrific incident in Mangalore by the self-appointed cultural cops calling themselves Sri Ram Sene. The chaos unleashed by the so-called samaaj ke rakhwaale has outraged in the coastal city acting as catalyst in some other parts of the nation. The lethargic response of the police in this matter is the best example of our incompetence and rise of Jungle Raj. Sometime back in one of my posts, I mentioned how we Indians take extreme pride in our culture and go beyond our ways to protect it and pass on to the next generations; but I didn’t thought my article will jagaao all the wrong kinds of people. LOL Jokes apart, violent attacks by hoodlums inspired by extreme ideologies — be it regional chauvinism, religious prejudice or a twisted sense of our Indian tradition and ethos — are becoming an alarmingly frequent feature of our times. The incident sometime back in Mangalore, in which women were physically assaulted by a bunch of goons bearing allegiance to the Sri Ram Sene — simply because they chose to visit a pub is further evidence of this phenomenon. Like those associated with other extremist right-wing groups, members of the Sri Ram Sene are self-appointed custodians of ‘Bharatiya Sanskriti’. Is beating up women also part of this culture? Our culture and traditions have never been static. Through the centuries, they have been shaped and reshaped by historic events and interactions with other cultures. Today, there could be more than a billion ways of being Indian in the Indian Silicon Valley. It’s worrying that small groups of people can hold the public to ransom and assault our collective liberties with such perceptible ease. Aren’t we part of a democratic country where we have the freedom to our actions? Today some group thinks pubs are not a part of culture, agreed. What if other group feels that we should stop talking in foreign languages (English included) and stick only to our local languages? What if some other group starts harassing people saying that t-shirts and jeans are not part of our culture and we should only wear dhoti/lungi and kurta? On that note I remember reading in the paper where 2 girls were beaten up for wearing jeans in Bangalore. Where do you draw a line to such ideologies? Such groups act like an anchor stopping the nations progress. The most troubling fact is that our state home minister has not helped in this matter at all. He told that the pub owners must “augment security to prevent this kind of incident in future”. What is the minister suggesting? That we privatize the enforcement of law and order? Isn’t it the government’s job to ensure public security? What are we paying the taxes for? Be it against Raj Thackeray in Mumbai or similar troublemakers elsewhere, administrations move too slowly and feebly, undermining citizens’ faith in their ability to secure law and order. Couple of dozen men involved in the pub attacks have been taken into custody but immediately released without any action. The state government’s condemnations of the incident and stated resolves to suitably punish the guilty have evaporated long back. People say times have changed. What are we referring to when we say that? Is it India winning gold medal at the Olympics? A black becoming President of USA? India bagging an Oscar? Or is it John kissing Abhishek? Is this what we call change? Is it what we are referring to progress? Nothing has changed for the common man. Common man still struggles to meet his basic needs. Its time that we rise to the calls of time and use the grey matter, for country’s progress and self in real terms.

Jay Ho

India has arrived finally with Slumdog sweeping all major awards at Oscars and becoming the Slumgod. Log onto any website, check out any newspaper or tune into any radio channel this is what you would read, see and hear. But I wonder what is that makes us so proud about the 81st Oscars? Yeah I got it... the 8 Oscars right? Well let’s not forget that it’s not an Indian film that got an Oscar. It’s a British-American film about Indian slum with some Indian collaboration. It reminds me that pre-Independence they use to take raw cotton from here and process there which made us proud. If you look carefully this may be an extension of similar kind of imperialism. The hype and ecstasy that I saw on news channels seems absolute crazy for one western recognition. Now that I have pointed out a counter view to the 81st Oscars, that doesn’t make me unpatriotic at all. However, I feel that slumdog was very much similar to any bollywood entertainer and had all the required bollywood masala. I felt it had more bark than bite. I have seen the movie and no doubt it’s a good movie but was it worth an Oscar??? Well I personally don’t think so. I wonder if we would have entered the movie in the foreign film category would it have sweeped the Oscars? But yes inspite of all the not so obvious views I totally agree to the fact that it feels great to know that AR Rehman's soulful music and Gulzar's passionate lyrics have floored everyone at the Oscars. From Brad Pitt to Kate Winslet, Steven Spielberg to Meryl Streep everyone was moving to the beats of “Jay Ho". What continued was goras in traditional dhotis and mems in dazzling pink Indian outfits dancing to the tunes of Rehman. The world is still giving the standing ovation to the men who have got 3 Oscars overnight while the country was waiting for one since the days of Satyajit Ray.

Finally it seems Bollywood magic has charmed the first world. Its time they realize there is no dearth of talent back home. Hopefully this opens the floodgates of offers with more fusion of east and west coming up with FINE cinema for the audience. Jay Ho!!