AAJ TAK...

Hydrabadi Dum Biryaani and home are synonymous, at least for me they are. Finally I am at home, behaving like a refugee from Somalia let loose in Mc Donald’s with free meal coupons. I was starving for ghar ka khana from 7 long months, since my last visit to my home. My taste buds have refused to acknowledge tasting the office canteen food, which I am sure; I’ll be able to scratch off by biryaani accompanied by some chicken curry. Here at home things are not all that rosy and no real "aish" is materializing as my friends back in office would think. I am as free and jobless as the marketing manager of Sourav Ganguly. TV is boring as ever and with the eyes which are used to watching un-censored stuff, detest HBO and Star-Movies where nowadays "Basic Instinct" is as holy as “Jai Santoshi Maa”. When the dialogues cease and a boy and girl come closer, in the very next scene two tota-mainaas are shown pecking each other (?) with there beaks. Pathetic!! The commercial channels like Star Plus, Sony etc air only the K-series saas-bahu sagas where everyone is plotting against each other. I remember some serials as old as my granny (100 and not out) but all the characters are as young as me. I wonder how someone can watch such bullshit, which shows the same old crap for decades with different camera angels. The news channels are no less. I’ve got this confidential news that Amitabh Bachchan ko thand lag gayi. Just have a look at an instance of the prime time news bulletin on Aaj tak.

Sanjay: "Aaiye hum aap ko le chalte hai Amitabh Bachchan ke resort pe jaha humaare samvaad daata deepak chaurasia maujood hai" "haan Deepak kya aap hamey sun sakte hai" (Deepak is on screen and he is as blank as Laloo's 10th board answer sheet) "Deepak aapko humaari awaaz aa rahee hai...Deepak" Deepak: "haan Sanjay boliye" (People behind Deepak desperate to come on TV are waving as if stranded on an island for ten years and trying to signal a far off ship in sight) "Deepak Is wakt wahan Amitabh Bachchan ki tabiyat kaisi hai? kya mahaul hai iss waqt wahaa par?" Deepak: Abhi hum Manali mein Amitabh Bachchan ke resort ke saamne khade hain aur aapko bataa den ki Aaj Tak pehla channel jo ye khabar aap tak la raha hai. Sanjay jaisa ki hum sab ko pataa hai aaj subah hindustan ke Shehenshah Amitabh Bachchan ko Thand lag gayi. Subah se hi yahaa diggaj logon kaa taanta lagaa huaa hai…” Sanjay: Ye batayiye ki Amitabh ko kitni thand lagi hai? Kya wo bahut chheenk rahe hain? Kya unhone sweater bhi pahen rakha hai thand se bachne ke liye? Deepak: Haan Sanjay Amitabhji ne sweater pehen rakha hai… par aashcharya ki baat ye hai ki Jaya bachchan is gambhir sthiti mein unke paas nahi hain. Isse ye pataa chalta hai bachchan pariwar mein kucch uthal puthal ho rahi hai. Ye kayi saare sawal khade karti hai? Then suddenly the camera shifts to Sanjay in the studio when he comes to know of the fact that he is on-air and he has nothing to speak and Deepak on the other side is dictating the list of medicines prescribed by doctors. Sanjay is speechless and his face is like as if he has pissed in his pants. Sanjay: Hum aapko Amitabh ke tabiyat ki har pal khabar dete rahenge… kahin jayiyega mat… milte hain fir, break ke baad!!! Break ke baad… Amitabh Comes out his resort and Deepak rushes to him to get some exclusive footage. There's already a battery of media persons mobbing him wid "Ab aapko kaisa lag raha hai?" type questions.. Deepak: “Amitabh ji. Bataaiye aapko Thand kaise lag gayi? kaisaa mehsus kar rahe hain aap abhi??” Deepak trying to shove the microphone up his nostrils. "Amitabh ji …Amitabh ji bataaiye….” Deepak struggling. Big B looks up to his bodyguard… And immediately the telecast is switched to the studio cameras and Sanjay sitting there says in a hurried tone. “Chaliye ab chalte hai Raakhi Saawant ke paas jo ye maang kar rahee hai ki item numbers ka bhi Oscar nomination honaa chahiye.” In the meantime Deepak while trying to get some exclusive footage got some real exclusive “Foot”age on his ass from Big B’s bodyguards. As if all this is not enough what follows is a SMS poll : Aap sabhi se humara sawal hai Amitabh Bachchan ko thand kyon lagi? 1. Kyonki unhone sweater nahi pahna tha 2. Kyonki unhone DABUR ka chavanpraash nahi khaya tha 3. Unka jacket chhota ho gayaa tha 4. Manali wasiyon ki galti hai kyunki unhone Amitabh ke liye heater ka intezaam nahi kiya. Apna jawab SMS kariye XXX par aur inme se 10 lucky vijetaoon ka meilga Ek Sony Camera. kahin jaayiyega nahi kyonki aage hai:

- Aishwarya ne khaya achar… Kya poora hoga abhishek aur ash ka parivar??? - Kya wajah thi ki na hit ho pai “Sarkar Raj” Aur kitne hits ya flops dega “Bachaan Parivaar”??? Janne ke lie dekhiye AAJ TAK ... And it continued and by the time I complete this post I am sure Deepak comes to office with an ice pack stuck to his ass while I happily munch on some more homemade delicacies.

Mere Desh Mein...

India a country of more than 1 billion people has stood over centuries against all odds and has contributed a lot more than zero to the world. When we talk about India, the first thing that comes to ones mind is its rich culture and values apart from our contribution to the worlds population and corruption. Ever wondered why is it that one takes so much pride in his/her culture and values? What is that makes us go beyond our ways to pass on these values to upcoming generations. We want our children to be as modern, competent and broadminded as any Tom Dick and Harry from any other country but at core we want them to be aware of our culture our roots above all our Identity. Identity as an Indian; Identity as a Singh or maybe a Rao. I’m not really sure why exactly is it important, but it definitely does a huge deal of good to a country of more than one billion people where losing your identity is as easy as losing another cell-phone. I remember when my friends go abroad their parents would be worried. Not only coz they will be alone saat sumandar paar and will not get the ghar ka khana but also what if the firang culture and free lifestyle influences them? What if they get back with a firang bahu/damad? How will they manage and how their lives would go topsy-turvy. Even today in India Love marriages outside ones religion and caste is a taboo and is not accepted whole-heartedly, because of the fear of the next generation losing their identity. Well, it does make sense; doesn’t it? A very close Muslim friend of mine wanted to settle down with a Hindu girl against all odds in filmy ishtyle. I always wondered what would their children be- a Hindu or a Muslim? Will they go to a Temple or a Mosque? When they would meet me, how will they greet -say salaam or namaste? There is always a possibility that in midst of two very different religions, cultures, customs and languages, one religion, one culture, one custom might die away. So, if parents do fear that what’s wrong in that? Before you pounce on me saying I am narrow minded and put me in the league of likes Raj Thackeray or Shiv Sena, let me clarify I am not against love marriages or inter-caste marriages. But again that doesn’t change the fact that if every one goes for inter-caste or inter-religion marriages, we would end up diluting our cultures and customs. There will be no more Hindus, Muslims or Christians. There will be no more Bengalis, Tamilians or Punjabis. Imagine a kid introducing his/her ethnicity as part Punjabi, part Tamilian, part Bengali and may be a part Gujrati or may be with names such as Tulsidas Khan, Mumtaz Iyer; which sounds more like India Pakistan Border. Cosmopolitan Kid in true sense, Isn’t it? It would be a khichdi where everyone would be as confused as Marilyn Monroe would be if asked to dance to the tunes of beedi jalayle. I’ve come across so many people till now and almost 9 out of 10 want to marry a person who they think will be able to pass on the right values to their children. DDLJ, whose core was based on such values, had dragged people to theaters continuously for over 10 years. Sooraj Barjatya was able to make people realize the importance of a joint family with super-hit movies like Hum Aapke Hain Kaun, Vivaah, Hum Saath Saath Hain, which, not only made the audience shed a tear but also swept away with critical acclaim and national awards. Movies like Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham, Namsate London has shown how parents were frantic, trying to instill these values in their children. All these movies have been biggest blockbusters, which do tell us that maybe the concept of promoting ones aadarsh and sanskaar is the mantra. TV ads like Asian Paints, and the latest one by ING corporate have managed to strike the right chord simply because it has captured the essence of our country just perfectly. Even the smallest of things like a Bengali chele’s dislike to fish or a Punjabi kudi’s aversion to lassi matter to people here. We attach a lot of emotion to everything we do. We hold our values very close to our hearts and also strive hard to keep them alive and pass them on to our future generations. I guess this is what has held this country of 28 states, 22 official languages, and more than 2000 cultures as one country. Irrespective of diverse cultures, religions, and castes we are one and reinforce the idea of Vasudaiva Kutumbukam. One might wonder if it is really important to know your roots, only to realize later how well it differentiates you from other people. But at the same time, what we can definitely not doubt is the fact that it’s our consciousness of our respective cultures, which gives us this immense sense of belonging to our land and the strength to fight for or right to a safe and peaceful life here. It is this very emotional attachment to all little things we do that tells us- this land is our home and not just another house.