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Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Peer Pressure !

1. Look at Bunty. He has scored 95%. Don’t you want to be the topper of the class and get distinction award. You should start studying more and more so that you can score more than him. 2. Orange Juice!! ha ha ha… The room filled with laughter. The girls are having vodka and a smoke and you are having orange juice. C’mon man; you are 28. Pick up the glass of scotch man. 3. So when are you getting married? You are 28 right? What’s going on? I am sure you have heard or said such statements in more than one occasion. I have definitely been on the receiving end in more than one occasion. This is just a simple dose of peer pressure. It starts from our childhood. Parents are never easier to please; they have their own set of sky-high expectations from their children. Pressure to score highest in all subjects and be a topper, Outstanding in sports and extra curricular activities, being the best-behaved child around. As the time passes the expectations multiplies. Be an engineer or doctor by clearing an entrance exam in IIT or AIIMS. Then topping in college and getting placed in the campus selection getting paid highest in the batch. Then comparing salary’s and onsite visits. The vicious circle never ends till the time we are on our death pyre. As a kid our parents chose everything in our lives. Starting from clothes to food to school to friends to play and mingle with. Now that we are grownups and take decision for ourselves we choose our own herd- our own set of people, colleagues and groups whom we like to hang out with. Groups where we all think alike, have common goals, similar interests and the same likes and dislikes. In short everyone’s frequency matches almost perfectly. As we become more and more independent, our friends/peers play an important role in shaping us. In a group while we make dozens of decisions we always influence each other’s choices and behaviors. Its human nature to listen and learn from others. There’s nothing wrong with comparing and getting influenced by peers. People are influenced because they want to fit in, be more like the ones they admire and do what others are doing so that they are accepted in the group. As every coin has two faces, peer pressure also has its own share of pros and cons. It all depends on person to person what they learn and what they get influenced by. The only key being we should not lose our own identity at the end of it. I have known people who get into things they do not want to, just because of peer pressure and then repent for the rest of their lives. But it’s very hard to control one self when everyone around you are behaving in a certain manner. If you don’t act like them, then you are not one of them. Perhaps this fear is what makes you do something, which you don’t wish to do. Peers help you socialize, encourage in achieving your goals, experience something new. But at the same time peers can also make you do something, which you wouldn’t want to do in the first place. They may pressure you into doing something you're uncomfortable with, such as shoplifting, smoking or drinking, taking dangerous risks when driving a car. Remember the movie “Lakshya” where Hrithik is clueless and joins army just because his friend is going. Though he changes completely after a while. But that’s movie and practically it can cost you piece of your mind. We ought to realize when and where we have to draw our line and say No. Peer pressure can be in any form starting from blackmailing to subtle signals making you conform to do something, which you do not want to do. The pressure can be very powerful and hard to resist. It can be doing anything as harmless as dressing in a certain outfit to pretty harmful like doing drugs. Most of the time we give in because we see everyone is doing it and think, “it must be ok”. Before you know you might just be part of the crowd and end up in an ugly situation.
At some point of time everyone ends up in a sticky peer pressure situation. No matter how well we know our friends and buddies, sooner or later we have to stand our ground and make some unpopular decisions. It may be something as simple as resisting the pressure of spending your hard earned money on a weekend party making you look uncool to your group. But these situations are just an opportunity for you to decide what’s right for you. It’s not easy to resist negative peer pressure, but when you do it, you feel great. You never know it may be a positive impact on other buddies in your group. So have loads of peers but avoid the pressure and have a chill pill !!