Sketching Continues !!

Volvo Ki Sawari

After years of trying to build roads and flyovers, Namma Bengaluru government decided to change track to address the woes of city commutation and invest in new buses: Volvos for the general public. For daily travelers to office in Bengaluru, the Volvo bus is a familiar experience. With the traveling time ranging anywhere between 1 to 2 hrs for a stretch of mere 10 –15 kms the old city buses experience was awful. The city buses used to be crowded, with people hanging from all possible directions like makdee ke jaale in a haunted bhootiya haveli from Ramsay movie. You will be surrounded by all kinds of crowd starting from the bhaajiwalas with their bhaaji ki tokri to software professionals with their 10-kilo lappies. As the crowd increases you will end up smelling the co-passengers sweat covered armpits or the combination of cheap deodorants and some half hearted farts. You might also have to stand face to face with the chaiwalas who would have his mouth filled with gutkha, which you are scared that he might puke on your fav shirt any moment. If you are spared there, you will probably encounter some unwanted nose digged fingers and crotch scratching hands on your favorite Louis Philippe Shirt. With the sinking heart crossing all hurdles, smelling like a fisherman, when you reach your destination you are in no way presentable either to the client or your boss who happens to come to work in his new Camry with un-crumpled shirt smelling of Hugo Boss. *&%%$ Thanks to the government, which heard the software professional’s woes and launched the Volvos for commuting. Off late I’ve started taking the Volvo to work instead of the company vehicle, which shows up before the pados ka murga decides to get out of its cozy bed. The Air-conditioned Volvo is the good option to hop in and catch on an extra 1-hour sleep while the monster does a nagina number on the so-called roads, scaring the hell out of the poor pedestrians. As soon as I hopped into the bus, the TT babu popped up like a matrimonial ad of shaadi.com to make me halka by some rupees, before I could manage to make myself stand in that bheed bhaad. While I stood in a corner groggily, hunting for a prospective commuter who’d get down at the nearest stop, I was poked hard in my ribs by the fellow passenger who got off-balance by the roller coaster ride in the city roads. I thought of yelling “teri **** ki... But considering the language management, I controlled myself. Very soon the bus started getting flooded when, one-bhala manas decided to get down and I grabbed his seat like a hawk. I made myself comfortable in the seat and switched on my new I-pod. By now all my sleep was gone and I was wide-awake and following are the different categories of people I noticed for the rest of my journey. Sleeping Beauties: These are generally those uncles who would probably have Aruna Irani or Himani Shivpuri type wives at home who wouldn’t let them sleep all night. What are you smiling at you dirty mind I meant not letting them sleep by continuous nagging like our bollywood vamps. These bechare sataaye hue mard are so sleepy that stranded traffic, blaring horns or the human chaos in the bus doesn’t bother them. It seems like they have grabbed their seats as the bus rolled out of the manufacturing plant. Some of them would have their mouth wide open enough for a baby hippo to pass through without getting hurt. To add on you will probably see a Ganga flowing out of their khula muh making a small puddle for gully ke bachche to swim. College ka Chokras: This is generally a group of 5-6 boys in their early 20s with faded and /or torn jeans, champu shades and long unruly hairdos- in short Chunkey Pandey Chaap students. Every word they utter would be sandwiched by a swear word beep beep. Once the brats are done with getting their feet placed in the bheed, they are set to explore the bus for those "F-16 to F-22"s. They scan through the entire bus and the data is shared among them to come with some vital information as to where they need to oscillate to and fro for the entire journey. Yeah, I used to be one of them few years back. Padhakus: In contrast to the college brats you can also see some padhakus with 4 inch thick glasses engrossed in rattofying probably the last commas and full stops in the book. These are the kinds who look forward for exams all year and write endlessly from the moment the question paper is distributed and take extra sheets and sometimes-extra pens to puke in everything in their brains about the subject. At the end of the exams they would make the gloomiest face possible coz they would realize that they have not answered question 5 ka part C, which is worth 0.5 marks. $^&%#@ Gadget Gurus: These people board the bus wired either with a cell phone or an I-pod that they got from their recent onsite visit. These people have their ears plugged throughout the time. When the TT asks for the ticket they would shout at their highest pitch so that the passengers in next bus know where they are going to get off. They would hum the song that’s playing in their Indian Idol voice, which would probably fetch them some chawannis outside. The callers are no less. They would smile all for themselves and suddenly shout out loud with words like “Listen to me, No No thatz not what I am saying”. Paunchy Techies: This is the breed of men where I belong (and probably you also). These are the uptight men wearing full formals sucking their paunches in to evade the un-required attention on their potbellies from the giggly HR girls in front. Needless to say these are the fellow techies with assorted Id’s around their neck, brownish newspapers under their armpits, cheap and heavy laptops clinging on to their shoulders. You can see the manager’s fire in their bellies, demons of variable pay haunting them and the release dates approaching faster than the weekends or salaries. With the fast rising pink slips and slow moving traffics you can hear their frustrations loud and clear even in the chaos of the city bus. Furry Females: These are the category of so-called fur ball girls who board the bus with a look of behenji in their attitude. Their untrimmed mustaches and stubble beard reminds you of unshaven look of our Khiladi Kumar. The hair on their hands would be enough to make a fur coat for 2 grizzly bears. I wonder haven’t they heard the term called “waxing”? Their furry hands would even force Anil Kapoor to cover his sleeves in shame. Well it definitely makes me roll-down my sleeves. Observing from one passenger to other, how time flew I didnt realize. Finally my stop came and I got down. I realized that my shirt is not crumpled and the Dunhill is still smelling as fresh as I left few hours back. In short the Volvo is sawari is fulltoo paisa wasool. However, this khushi was ephemeral. Looking at the high-raised tinted glass building where I have to be for the next 8-9 hours or may be more, my heart sank. Being left out with no choice with heavy heart I walked into that building to suffer the pangs of my existence. By the way why dont you take a Volvo ride while I get back with my next post? It fun !! Trust me...

My Recent Sketches !!

Try Again

When you feel tierd and lost,

Not getting the way at any cost.

The path is hard and a bit rough,

And every step so very tough.

The end of it is not in sight,

And you have lost the urge to fight.

Life is worth living and fighting for,

Not to defeat and leaving for.

It easy to give up and accept defeat,

But the brave will willingly repeat.

Will and dedications are steps to the top,

Journey is hard, but you cannot stop.

Don't give up but try again and again,

A different life you may regain.